Plot Twist: Flo from Progressive is in a realtionship with Jake from State Farm
Extra Plot Twist: Their child is Mayhem from Allstate
Me every night: I can have exactly 7 hours 23 minutes and 48 seconds of sleep if I fall asleep right now.
tavrosofnitram: “let me like that post so i can look at it again sometime!”
epic-humor: bedquest: dear fucking tumblr this is a fucking bumblebee this is a fucking bee this is a fucking hornet this is a fucking wasp as you can fucking see the longer their legs are and the less fuzzy they are is equivalent to how fucking evil they fucking are